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The holiday season can be magical and festive with parties, gifts and reconnecting with loved ones near and far. It can also be busy and exhausting with preparations and events. Most people feel both of these at this time of year. But one thing that came up for me as December approached this year was a weighted melancholy. Black Friday was a brisk but sunny day in Manhattan, and we had decided to get our Christmas tree. I had scouted out the best deal on the Upper East Sid

Going along to get along. Keeping the peace. Non-confrontational. Easy going. Placating. Highly accommodating. Overly compliant. These are all ways to describe the style of relating that some call people-pleasing. Do any of those phrases resonate with you? They do with me. How do you feel about noticing this in yourself? Have you ever been curious about it? Have you ever wondered why others can be disruptive, make waves, or speak their mind, but it just seems like you

They were sitting in their brown VW bug as her dad drove them home from church that sunny spring afternoon. She had on a dress and tall white knee socks. The year would have been about 1980. Annie's mom was in the front passenger seat crying. The car was silent except for her quiet sobs. Annie was sitting directly behind her mother, so she couldn’t see her, but the tension in the car was palpable. Her sister sat staring out the window, appearing to be somewhere else comp

Did you know that 1 in 4 girls is a victim of childhood sexual abuse, according to the CDC. It is also, however, pretty widely...

I've been breathing my whole life. But it wasn’t until I developed debilitating anxiety that I actually paid attention to my breath. I...

As I stand on my balcony and look over a bustling Manhattan Street, everywhere I see movement. Cars, buses, bikes, taxis, ambulances,...

“I had a normal childhood. My parents did the best they could.” I hear this a lot from people when I talk about my career as a...

The first time that someone looked into my teary eyes and told me that I needed care because I had been impacted by trauma, I had no idea what he was talking about. This wise and insightful friend saw that the pain of our current church hurt was not the only pain that I was carrying. My deep fears of speaking up, of naming that we had been deeply wronged, of using my voice, had developed inside of me long ago, in a home where silence was safest. You see, I thought that wh

We spend a great deal of time and energy searching after the “thing” that will finally make us feel whole. The newest self-help book, the...

Naming is a powerful part of being an emotionally healthy leader. This exercise is about paying attention to your inner experience by noticing what you feel and naming your emotion. By noticing and naming, you are getting to know yourself, and by welcoming that emotion, whatever it is, you are befriending your inner world. That’s profoundly powerful. Perhaps we might even say that you are being shaped into the image of Christ who was fully human and fully aware of his inner

This exercise is a foundational building block for learning how to notice, name and be present with your emotions. In this simple five minute practice, you will focus on noticing the sensations in your body. As you take the time to notice, you are doing holy work. God created your body to be able to experience emotions, including the physical sensations that accompany them. You are slowing down to pay attention to what is going on in the temple of the Holy Spirit. You are ide