Practice 3: Remembering

Once you have gotten more comfortable with noticing the sensations in your body and working to identify them by name, you can add another step that I call remembering.

Begin this activity with the following three questions:

1. How are you feeling? (Identify your emotion)

2. What does that emotion feel in your body? (Describe the sensations)

3. How do you feel about feeling that way? (the emotion behind the emotion)

I feel infuriated!

It feels like red lava flowing down my throat.

I feel so scared of feeling this angry.

That third question is SO deep and profound. You will really be opening up the door for some true vulnerability if you are able to ask it and welcome whatever you discover.

The last question that I would like to offer, takes you from engaging with your current emotions to exploring the stories that help to explain why your emotions evoke certain responses.

4. What experiences did you have in your family of origin with that emotion? What memories do you have about feeling anger (or another emotion) yourself or experiencing someone else’s anger? (tell me your stories)

These four very simple questions are such a powerful way to get to know both yourself, and those around you. The answers must be responded to with kindness and curiosity, not judgment. This is a pathway toward being known and holding compassion for the way that you (or others) have developed.